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Saturday, September 18, 2010

The Power Of A Wrong Decision

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There is a gap between stimulus and response, and the key to both our growth and happiness is how we use that space.

Steven Covey, The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People.


Accidents invariably happen when decision-making is compromised. Driving 100k’s down the freeway is not the time to have a moment of indecisiveness. Hit the indicator and then take that turn, there’s a reasonable chance you’ll negotiate the journey safely. The autobahn of life operates similarly, and yet so many of its participants lack the decisiveness to negotiate its perilous journey and myriad of choices with clarity and confidence.

Due diligence is given as an excuse to postpone making a decision. Procrastination is a nice sounding word that has cancerous implications. So many poor souls live lives of quiet desperation, not because of a scarcity of choice, but rather because opportunities are so often disguised as scary monsters residing in the location of the discomfort zone.


It has taken a lifetime to reach this status quo we find ourselves inhabiting, and we are well equipped to justify staying there, regardless of how insanely uncomfortable it really is.
Regret is a mostly pointless indulgence. However it is an emotion that modern societies seem to encourage. 

Crass confessions of celebrity excess are the fodder of tabloid press. Brands need to be protected, and therefore carefully crafted interviews conveying remorse are channeled through crocodile tears for the consumption of the masses.



The masses in turn tend to confuse this manipulation as an example of the risk of poor decision-making. More often than not, it is a weakness in actually making decisions quick and often that leads to paralysis and unfulfilled ambition.

Questions precede all actions. There is a remarkable tendency for the mind to find the resources to achieve emotional and concise goals. Ask the right questions and be prepared to make decisions that may initially appear to be taking you in the wrong direction, and almost imperceptibility miracles will seem to manifest.

 
The girl you fancy may rebuke your advances, but significantly less often than if you’d never asked! Apparently super models are rarely approached by mere mortals as conventional wisdom is that they can do better! The irony of course is that there’s less competition for the brave soul willing to act!

Traveling to the other end of the globe, for something as frivolous as a holiday can so easily and rationally be postponed, indefinitely. The money could be spent in so many better ways…and yet, this mindset is what creates the sense of apparent lack. 
 
Creating a big enough vision, a big enough WHY will usually facilitate the HOW.

Be prepared to get it wrong. (There is no wrong by the way, it’s a perception, some of the greatest experiences in your life would never have happened if you hadn’t taken a ‘wrong’ turning somewhere back on the road that led you to the big payoff)

Start a business. Risk some money lose it learn from the experience and move on better educated and equipped to take advantage of the next opportunity that comes your way.
Take some piano lessons, enroll in art class, buy the car that symbolizes your mid life crisis, sell your house and travel the world for two years. 

Is such unbridled hedonism just an excuse for irresponsibility? That’s for you to debate, but I would play the devils advocate and state that the craving and pursuit of the sensible is what defines the height of the ceiling of all potential accomplishment.

Think of the worst decision you’ve ever made in your life and I’d venture to suggest it ended up becoming the greatest lesson you ever learned. If you have any regrets I’d also guess it was a factor of failure to actually make a decision that led to the regret.

So next time the apple of your eye demands a treat, the lawn needs mowing, the out dated TV needs replacing, or an acquaintance invites you to a function try occasionally being spontaneous- make the decision on the spot, don’t say you’ll think about it, or try, or will check with your boss, husband, lawyer…just a Yes or no will suffice.


Just don’t blame me if it all goes pear shaped….


15 comments:

  1. Hi Kiaran,

    What a meaningful post you share! I know for myself decisiveness is something I'm improving on as I take more risks and live through them. :)

    I know that even when I'm procrastinating making a decision, that in an of itself is a decision. Avoidance will never get me to what I want in life.

    I used to be much more spontaneous in my younger years. I remember leaving the house at 11:30 to drive to Chicago to take photographs of the city at night, eat at some little diner at 2:30 in the morning and get home in time to get to class by 8:00. Tired but invigorated at the same time. Now, as a mom of 3, spontaneous consists of saying Okay to play-dough on the kitchen table right after I've mopped. Not as exciting, but it's where my life is.

    I'm sure your post will come into my mind from time to time as a great reminder to live in the moment.

    Thank you Kiaran!

    Heather

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  2. Kiaran,

    Love the post! We agree... making decisions in our lives is what moves us forward. It may not be apparent at first, but they do take us in the direction of where we are to go in our lives. Keep sitting on the fence, and we go nowhere.

    Thanks so much for sharing all the cool insights... very much appreciated.

    Thanks,
    ~ Pat and Lorna
    http://TheCoolestCouple.com

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  3. Hi Kiaran,

    that's an awesome read. You make me think, my subconscious will have to work over time: What was my worst decision ? Chances are it's my most important and most precious lesson.

    Thanks for sharing.

    Take care

    Oliver

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  4. "Creating a big enough vision, a big enough WHY will usually facilitate the HOW."

    Kiaran.. that's a great point & I agree with that 100%.

    Without knowing why you should be taking action, the motivation won't last too long.

    Thanks for sharing
    Hector

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  5. Hi Kiaran,

    While spontaneous choices come easy for some, they are quite a challenge for others. You're call to be spontaneous is a good one.

    As Napoleon Hill mentions, make decisions quickly, but be slow to change them...

    Thanks for sharing your thoughts,

    Susanna

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  6. Hi Kiaran,

    Awesome post. Our lives are driven by the decisions that we make. And we sometimes make wrong decisions which can be a lesson for us and also be turned into great opportunities.

    Thanks for sharing your insights.

    All the best,
    Mavis Nong

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  7. My wife pointed out to me some years ago that when people asked me to something, all they wanted was a decision, not a process of making the decision...as you put it - give me a "yes" or a "no".

    Since then, I changed and now practise this almost daily in my brick & mortar business.

    When you say "opportunities are so often disguised as scary monsters residing in the location of the discomfort zone" I think this sums up exactly why most people will not change - they are not prepared to undertake the journey into that discomfort zone & by necessity have to change things.

    Call it the RC factor - resistance to change!

    Stay inspired!
    Michael

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  8. Hi Kiaran

    there is a stack of good stuff here. I particularly like the warning against procrastination and the need to be decisive. The former really is like a slow growing cancer.

    thank you
    Charlie Holles

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  9. What a great read you shared with us. :)

    I used to have a real problem with making decisions. I would contemplate forever. This was one of those things I changed right about the time when I made a decision to stop thinking and to start doing.

    I figured if I am ever going to get results, then I better start doing.

    Catch you later,
    Jerome Ratliff

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  10. There really is no wrong decision is there? Not if we learn from their consequences, and make better ones in the future.

    You're right. A decision is such a powerful thing. Contemplation really is agonising - creating all sorts of confusion from the myriad of possibilities it has to choose from. When you make a decision, there is only one possibility.

    Great stuff,
    Wayne

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  11. I love that, "Create a big enough why and the how will come..."

    I believe this so much. When your why is so big you don't let anything get in its way!

    Chat with you later, buddy!
    Josh

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  12. Great post Kiaran. I know for me now I just go with my gut on any decision and I'm not always right but I learn from the experience and it takes me to a place I deserve to be. I loved when you said "It has taken a lifetime to reach this status quo we find ourselves inhabiting, and we are well equipped to justify staying there, regardless of how insanely uncomfortable it really is." Most people are just willing to settle.

    Michael

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  13. I've lived my life by following my passions and making quick decisions. I love not following any predefined path...it makes every day an adventure! Great post Kiaran. :)

    Cheers,
    Karen

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  14. Hi Kiaran,

    I'm glad you are my new friend. I enjoyed this post. Had to laugh when I thought of one of my husband's favorite quotes: I'm going to join the Procrastinators Club, but I just haven't gone around to it yet. You gave some great advice. Life is like a bicycle. If you stop moving forward, you fall over.

    Wishing you a song in your heart,

    Leslie

    P.S. How do you pronounce your name?

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  15. @leslie thanks for the comment Leslie - pronunciation Key-ran! A mis spelt variation on Kieran! cheers K

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