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Monday, August 16, 2010

The Real Secret To Conquering Your Demons Revealed

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Have you ever been frustrated?  Have you ever played that game in your head that starts off with the mindset 'if only..."?  If I could just figure out the secret to generating a tonne of traffic.... If I could just get my Blog readership up to 1000... If I could just find 1great leader for my business...

All great copywriters earn their fortunes by tapping into this need for answers, by alluding to but never actually completely providing the solution, before leading you into an ever more intricate maze of enticing possibility.

Successful Soap opera's rely on hinting  but never revealing any real secrets or answers, without first baiting its audience with an ever bigger and juicy riddle.
A few years ago there was a tipping point in the personal development pop psychology publishing world. The release of Rhonda Byrne's book "The Secret" with more than a little help from Oprah created a feeding frenzy of interest, discussion and almost religious zeal in extolling its message.

There were echoes of the Blair Witch Project. You just had to investigate, what all the fuss was about.

Yep, it was all about the magic of hype and uncovering THE SECRET. Secrets sell.

For those of you that remember the early 80,s "Who Shot JR?" was a cultural phenomenon with no apparent logic.

Which brings me belatedly to my point! Why are we consumers so seduced again and again by the promise of withheld answers, that we are willing to part with much hard earned coin and emotional energy for THE ANSWER?

The success of any soap opera is dependent on the producers never answering a question, without posing at least another even more vexing question.

Weight Loss
2 acquaintances of mine, recently shocked me, with separate stories of how they managed to lose upwards of 40 Kilos!

What was their secret? Well here's the thing, and don't tell anyone in the weight loss industry! It's not the strategy, the pills, the laxatives, the self flagellation. It's not the new Ab Master, Home Gym. The key to their independent success was... Tune in next week, only kidding.

The key to both successes was the strength of their DECISION.

Bob (not real name) made a real decision after a family intervention. No threats or tears simply family concern triggered an emotional response that was life changing.

Rick woke up one morning looked in the mirror and just decided. Personal responsibility and making a real decision triggered actions and motivation never found in a supplement or diet book.

Thirty years ago my father an 80 cigarette a day smoker also made a decision, with no fan fare, to stop smoking. No patch, self talk, nicotine gum, or promises, just a real decision. He never smoked another cigarette.
Real decisions foster immense motivation to act. Rhonda Byrne's book, tells us that we attract into our lives that which we think about. Sorry if I've spoiled the plot. The packaging is so much more enticing than the answer.

What's the slogan? Just do it!


  1. Hi Kiaran,

    Absolutely which is why there are people who are successful using just about every business system and venture launched.

    It has nothing to do with the actual product but the mindset of the person who is then able to use it to be successful.

    As for the smoking thing, I understand this. I never smoked for long, three years actually. What you describe is what I did. I woke up one morning and as I lay in bed I decided I would never smoke another cigarette again. That was 20 years ago and I never have since that day.


  2. Hey Kiaran,

    What a great post. You're exactly right, it's the firm decision that counts.

    Once you DECIDE to do something, no "if" about it, just that firm decision, it' changes something inside.

    Awesome post!


  3. Hi Kiaran,

    amazing post with real-life experience. A strong decision based on a strong why, that's half the rent as we say in Germany, probably even more than that.

    Thanks for sharing.

    Take care


  4. Another great post, Kiaran.

    If you are set to do something, go for it and do it!!

    Thanks for sharing.

    All the best,
    Mavis Nong

  5. Hi Kiaran!

    Great message today. I love the "secret!"

    Decisions are the secret to success, but I don't think enough people realize that by putting off making a decision to do something is really a decision in itself.


  6. Kiaran, the power of the mind IS the's the power of your mind that determines the level of self-discipline you will apply to anything you do in life.

    And it's the self-discipline that will win the day!

    So...what's the secret?

    Mind over matter? You tell me...

    Stay inspired!

  7. I used to play this "if only" game far too many times.

    Then one day I DECIDED to go away with the ifs and started doing and experiencing.

    That decision has certainly served me.

    Thanks for this great post Kiaran.

    Have a good day,
    Jerome Ratliff

  8. Great post Kiaran,

    I wrote about the power of DECISIONS a while back but it's always nice to get a refresher.

    I totally agree that the strength of the decision is key to getting things done..

    Thanks for this very nice article

  9. Hey Kiaran,

    When someone makes that decision in that moment. That is when everything around them will change. Great post!

    Chat with you later...

  10. Kiaran, Great post! When I read this I kept thinking about the the quote from Napoleon Hill that says "what the mind can conceive & believe it can achieve". I refer to that often, There is so much power in that statement. Real decisions come from making up our minds to do something, and our minds are so very powerful! So yes, "Just do it" Thanks for the great post! ~Joseph McDevitt

  11. Hey Kiaran,

    I totally agree, it is all about the mindset, there are days that I am down in the dumps and my productivity level is near nothing. I have to change my mindset, and when I do; positive things happen and I obtain the goals I set for myself.

    I can totally relate to the smoking thing, I just made a decision one day to quit and I have that ability. It is all about mindest and then taking the action.

    Thank you for the great post.

  12. Kiaran,

    Another great post. A strong decision can accomplish a lot.

    It is following through with that decision which makes it a game breaker.

    Have a great one,
    Tommy D.

  13. Kiaran,

    Wow you remember "Who shot Jr?" as popular as that was I almost forgot thanks for reminding me my of my age.

    Strength of the decision to me is another name for desire.

    One the most powerful motivating factors there are.

    Your friends had a real desire for change and acted on it and seen the reward that is awesome.

    But the desire to do nothing is just as strong and can wreak a world of hurt if not overcome.

    Steve Shoemaker

  14. Absolutely, Kiaran!

    You have to make a decision to change and then back it up with ACTION! ...And stick too it, whether you feel like it on any given day or you don't.

    Great post!


  15. Ooh, I loved this post! I've often thought 'what if', 'if only' and sometimes those thoughts have just stayed there like that. I said a while ago 'if only I could run the London Marathon and raise money for Macmillan Cancer Support'..and this time .. I just did it!! Ok, ok...I trained first, got injured a lot and came off crutches 5 weeks before the marathon..but I did it. And I've continued with that mindset..although it scares me still, I've entered a half marathon in October, a full marathon in Novemeber and I'm hoping for a place again in the London Marathon in April.
    Keep up the great writing!
    Joanna Sayers

  16. Hey Kiaran

    Excellent post. It really comes down have a strong reason to making that decision.

    btw can you tell me how Cadbury does it

  17. Great post Kiaran,
    Most complain and whine and “oh poor me” and moan.They say "I can't do that,or that's so impossible!

    Why?Because they CANT appreciate the NOW.

    Why? BECAUSE they don’t appreciate what they ALREADY have-The power they hold!

    Why? Because they have NO honor is what they have NOW!

    The power lies within even great people knew they were great before anyone else did and acted into their potential in spite of themselves in order to fulfill the prophecy that was inside of their heads.
    And they pressed ahead into a being that was greater than them.

    To Your success,
    ~kebabope Morapedi

  18. @peterfuller re Cadbury I'd have to say that's an addiction of CHOICE!!

  19. I was trying to figure out what withholding answers has to do with decision making... Must be too late - time to stop educating myself and go to bed:).

    I am definitely all for decision making! Just do it and do it now!


  20. Thnx for your comment Ana -

    I guess the elusive intended message is that the search for the eternal holy grail of that one answer that will make our dreams come true will never be found.

    Frequent decisive decision making followed by action is what matters

    Apologies for the obscurity!!

    Cheers Kiaran

  21. Hi Kiaran, great posting.

  22. Hello Kiaran,

    You hit the nail right on the head with your post. With most things in life it really does come down to that "Decision" Thing!

    And usually in our decisions that we make there is usually a reason we make them. A firm decision is a wonderful thing and in most cases its a positive thing.

    I'll be back to read some more.

    Wishing you all my best:)